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I had already decided what shoes I was going to wear, a blackpatent pair of pumps with kitten heels and slipped my feet so easilyinto them. Every time I do that I am delighted at the way my feetsuddenly appear slim, tapered and smaller.Next came a crisp white fitted blouse, just translucent enough to seethe pattern of the basque top, undone at the neck and finally a kneelength cinnamon skirt which I then had to lift up so I could draw downthe tails of the blouse. It all looked very good.Sitting down again I pulled on a short light brown wig with blonde highlights that curled neatly under my ears, then a careful brushing andfinal set all over with hair spray. To complete the effect I needednails: bright scarlet ones; up till now I had used stick on pads buthad lost a couple somewhere about the house and they are a very telltale sign, which so far I seemed to have got away with. So as not totake a chance this time I used strong acrylic adhesive. Again I wasentranced at the way my hands. On the kitchen table I discovered a piece of paper obviously hastily torn from the notepad we leave beside the telephone. There were two conflicting lines written on it. ‘I’m sorry!’ and, ‘I love you!’ ‘How could she walk out and leave me, if she loved me?’ I thought to myself. ‘If she loved me, she wouldn’t have left me, so therefore she can’t be sorry for what she has done. You can say sorry when you do something accidentally. You can’t say sorry for something you do in cold blood.’ I can’t be sure how long I sat in the kitchen either, staring at that scrap of paper. Sometime later someone knocking on the door roused me from my stupor. I opened it and found myself confronted by four of my friends and their wives. ‘What the hell happened to you two? We got fed-up with waiting and came to find you … Oh, my god, Pete, what’s happened? You look like shit.’ Barry, probably my best friend, asked. I’d forgotten that Anna and I were supposed to meet the bunch down at the local pub hours.
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